You know the old saying “Theres light at the end of every tunnel”? For longest time I have considered this a fact, and applied to much of my day to day life. Whenever something happens that put me in the dark, in the back of my head, I always knew that there would be an end, that tiny pinprick of light would grow bigger and bigger until I was out of whatever mess had occurred. So I would put my head down and battle through on my own.
What I’ve discovered recently, (and I must say, being in college, on my own for the first time, I’ve discovered a lot) is that it shouldnt be about the light at the end of a tunnel. It should be about the light all around us. The sun rises from the night to bring light, and as soon as it goes down, the moon takes it place. Maybe not quite as bright, but providing light all the same. The only time we are truley in the dark is when we put ourselves in the tunnel, and in retrospect we do that quite selfishly. We do it for some sort of attention, a test maybe, to see who is out there to help us. I freely admit that I am quite guilty of that. There is always someone or something there to help us through, to light our way. By putting ourselves out there, reaching out for that hand to pull us up, we become stronger. We risk everything in the hope that someone will be there, and I can promise you, even when you think there isnt someone, there will be.
Just maybe not what you expected, or even hoped for.
I was talking to a friend recently, and we were going through the three stages of human growth. We start out dependent, with need for everything. This is when we are a child and everything is given to us. As we grow, around the teenage years, we become independent, doing everything for ourselves, trying to prove that we can make it on our own. And this stage could last several years, or it could last a lifetime. Finally, the stage that not everyone reaches is interdependence. This is when we combine the two stages, and are able to function on our own, but the hard part is being able to reach out for ideas, help, and advice with the issues of our life. The reason it becomes so hard to obtain is because it requires a breakdown of our personal pride to utilize that dependence that we all need. For some people it is easy, for some its hard, for many its impossible.
So here is my challenge to you. Try to open up to the idea of interdependence. It wont happen over night. It might take months, it might take years. But opening that door is like waking up looking through new eyes. There is so much you cant do on your own, but there is so much you can do with others. I know im not quite there yet, but I acknowledge the amazing support network I have unwittingly built around myself over the past 18 years i’ve been alive. Its a good feeling.
With an open heart, open soul, and an open mind I will continue on this path of growing up, trying to not look for the light at the end of the tunnel, but to look for the light all around me.